NEW YORK IS NOT FOR LOVERS

No one move here. Seriously. Everyone stay right where you are. This place is the devil.

As we all know, I don't have, and would desire full time work. So I mustered up all of my self esteem and went to Craiglist and applied for a few jobs and one asked for the candidates to stop by and "chat for 5 minutes."

Great! I thought, I can finally get some face time as opposed to just another resume, this is awesome.

I walk 20 minutes in this frozen, grey, disgusting WASTELAND (well, the sun is out, so, it's not so bad) and find this place. After standing outside like a moron, trying to again gather all of the self esteem I have (forget courage at this point), I walk in. I am then directed by a blonde man to an iPad to take a test.

A man who walked in a moment after me was also gestured towards an iPad for his test. He looked at the blonde man and in broken English explained that he has been doing this job for years, and to test him in a more practical way. Let him show them what he can do. The blonde man is not even slightly reciprocating and merely points to the iPad for to just take the test. This goes on for a moment or two until the man also applying for a job leaves in a huff.

I am secretly glad, thinking that this guy is going to make me look good. I flash a smile that says, "See, I'll take the test, I will be a good worker, hire me! Hire me!"

The blonde man doesn't smile back. I sit down to take the test.

After filling out my name, email address, level of education, desired salary and current credit score, the page redirects me to the test.

OMG guys. It was an 11th grade English test. No 4 year Bachelor's degree prepared me for this.

It wanted me to answer the following 25 questions discerning the meaning of the specific prefix or suffix.

Example:  "Ben-" in "Benign"
a. Too much
b. Good
c. All around
d. Bad

(hint: the answer is "b")

I would say I knew most of them, but honestly there were about 5 or 6 that I had virtually no clue what they meant.

After, I stood there like a schmuck for about 5 minutes until I saw a guy walked by and called after him, inquiring as to why I was standing there like a schmuck and he directed me down the hall to where the blonde man was. I asked about the "chat" that the  Craigslist ad had mentioned and was told that if I passed the screening, I would be notified.

Oh yeah, I was applying to be a hostess.

So, you know, if you think it's not too hard to get a job around here...